Get Rid Of Your Sexual Stigmas!

Sex- this three letter word signifies a need which is as basic as the need to eat, drink, sleep, excrete etc. Still unlike the other needs there has always been a hush-hush attitude towards sex. Till recently it was a strict bedroom affair and was not meant to be discussed outside that domain. Once it left the four walls of the bedroom it represented all that was shameful, ugly, dirty and degraded.

Since the start of the human civilization it has been felt that sex is primarily a male dominated exercise. Till a few years back little or no importance was given to the woman's desires, her aspirations, her needs and her wishes. Her two main roles were to satisfy her husband and procreate. She had to oblige to her husband's desires with or without consent and at the same time not show her dissent.

Now however times have changed. With the onset of globalization women have come to be equal sexual partners. Today she can voice her needs and her expectations from her partner just the way he can. She is no longer just an object of male sexual gratification and her role in a sexual activity has gone beyond that of fertilizing the male sperm and bearing babies. In this age it's a real achievement for the human civilization that it has been able to shun away much of the stigmas associated with sex.

However the success is not complete. There are certain sex related stigmas that we still adhere to. And the irony is that even the women, who have worked for their equal participation in sex, have not been able to break free from these stigmas.

Let me put a question to all you modern ladies. How many of you take the initiative when you start making love? I am sure the answers in positive will be few and far between. It has always been believed that it's the male's job to get started with the process and then take his women to the climax. It's a kind of unstated agreement that he is the one who has to take the initiative. It';s a very deep rooted stigma that's still in our conception. I agree that it's good if you let your partner know what you want in bed. But at the same time you should also understand that sex is mutual, the desire should come from both the sides. Sadly enough the male most of the time agrees on intercourse because he feels that this is expected of him. He feels that if he fails to deliver there will be questions on his manlihood. He has got to be the main performer and the lady more often than not is the "second lead". Now there maybe exceptions but this is the convention.

Sometimes this undue expectation on the male takes a toll on his physical and mental health and also on the relationship. The pressure to perform even when not in mood may result in problems like erectile dysfunction. Especially, when the male is not aroused to the pitch of excitement that is required for a delightful sex and he still continues. This may not always be to satisfy his partner as much as to conform to the old customs that are at the back of his mind i.e. to fit into the social definition of a MAN.

These kinds of situations are healthy breeding grounds to give rise to diverse problems including ED, which is a scare by itself. Because not only does it adversely affects a man's ego, self esteem and self respect; it can also creates a break in the relationship itself.

Therefore the gist of this whole discussion is that in order to make sex more enjoyable and healthy both the partners should share their mental wavelength. There should be heart to heart discussions relating to every aspect of the relationship including sex. One should not let the old customs and traditions colour one's thoughts and perceptions. The problems in the relationship, if there are should be handled intelligently leaving aside all old social stigmas. Only then can a healthy, happy and mature relationship be built!